DONNA MARTIN GRADUATES!

INSULT of the DAY! 

A New Feature here in DOEZIELAND

Let me start by acknowledging two things:

1) Because I grew up with two older brothers who teased me incessantly from a young age (- on), I'm pretty thick-skinned. It takes a lot to really, personally offend me (aside from foul language, ignorance, 

poor spelling and sacrilege-- the obvious offenses-- and a couple personal-to-me things that only a few people would know bothered me anyway)... I usually just think it's funny that a person would actually SAY something rude or insulting, esp. as they usually don't mean it. (And if they DO mean it-- how idiotic are they?! You really have to laugh at people like that...)

and

2) I know that I do bear some resemblance to Tori Spelling. 

So here's what happened today... I usually come home almost daily with some hilarious remark made by a student who wasn't trying to be insulting but whose comment came out that way anyway ("Ohhh, Miss Doezie-

- you always tried, with your hair...  I know if it wasn't so hot, you'd have been more adventurous") ("Maybe you don't look different in this photo, because you look so old--?") ("HAHAHA, MISS DOEZIE, YOU'RE LIKE A WHITE QUEEN LATIFAH"), but TODAY, the gem of the week came from a fellow teacher.

A very nice, amiable, friendly man, married, teacher of history, and a member of our Wednesday Wild Lunch Bunch (yessss.... teachers... eating dessert together, living on the edge), Mr. So-and-So (I actually can't remember his name) likes to make comments about my striking resemblance to one Tori Spelling. I laugh along, ha ha ha, yes, I've heard it before, but not so much in recent years as when we had the same cowlick-y hairstyle while I was attending P-- High School and she was almost-not-graduating from West Beverly High, 90210...

...and apparently, summer vacation didn't cause him to forget about this astounding separated-at-birth miracle/tragedy. Today, walking out of the room at the end of lunch, he asks me, "So, how's DEAN?" (guffaw, guffaw) ...  It took me a split second to realize he was playing that I was Tori and he was inquiring about my real-life husband, but as soon as I did, I har-har'd right back and then shot even further back with a playful, "Yeah.... see, I consider that an insult...!" 

Mr. History hurried to reassure me by stating, "Oh, no, you're WAY smarter than her," but... I never thought he was comparing our intelligences. (Hello--- OBVIOUS that that's not what was implying all along, since his first "hey, you're like Tori Spelling"-- I mean, come on, she is vapid compared to my impressive Mensa genius); so I clarified my "offense" by adding, "Um--no, I meant she is UG-LY!!"

And...

He stopped in his tracks, turned around to face me in the midst of kids streaming by as they rushed to 5th period, startled face like a deer in headlights, and said... nothing. 

Pause.

"oh.. uh, well... hmm."

Hands hanging to his sides, desperately clutching a thermo-lunchbox, he turned away-- turned back-- glanced fleetingly at my face once more, mouth opening and closing, and then... hurried off in the opposite direction.

GENIUS. 

That was the hardest I laughed, all day...