Give Me Liberty, and Give Me Death... and Taxes

I don't fear tax season for the same reasons as CPA's, their wives and children, the self-employed, or the shady tax-evader. I fear it for one reason, and one reason only.

THE LIBERTY TAX GIRL.

Below is a picture of my neighborhood Liberty Tax service station (right next to "Nail Slicks", or "Nail Sucks", if you're driving quickly past and can't read the late-70's font) just off the corner of a major intersection. I go through this intersection a lot, either to/from the freeway exit near my house, or to get to Target, OSH, etc... it's not a bad intersection, the lights turn regularly... but I really, really hate it during tax season.

BECAUSE-- Have any of you seen what Liberty Tax does to advertise? Dresses up a girl in a thin nylon Lady Liberty drape/outfit, complete with Miss-America-style sash and an NYC touristy foam headdress. That ain't so bad. Add the pointy-sign that the professional sign-spinner turns and tosses to get attention from passers-by, and it's still pretty tame. Makes me want to cut myself thinking about having to do that as a full-time job, but hey, it's honest work.


However.


The girl they had last year... ohhhh my. She wore headphones and danced-- DANCED-- the curb, CONSTANTLY. Swinging around poles Fred-Astaire-style, skipping and bopping to the beat of music heard only by her, and smiling and waving at EVERY SINGLE CAR-- no, every single PERSON that drove by.

Now, I'm by no means a discriminator of sunny personalities... or talented 'dancing', yes, and probably burning a gazillion calories every day, but THIS .... well, it made me uncomfortable. Like when formal choirs sway and clap to non-sway-and-clapping songs, mimes try to get out of invisible boxes, or animals are dressed like people. Shudder. You'd know what I mean if you saw her. And every time-- EVERY TIME-- I'd drive by, she'd smile and wave at me... and when I couldn't avoid her eye, I'd feel bad and give a tight-lipped grin back. But inside, I was barfing.

So this year, though, she's gone (probably moved up to the big time, dancing for cruise ship productions)-- and in her place, the first day, there were SEVEN Liberty Tax girls (and guys), a mini outdoor hot dog barbeque, two turntables and a microphone. Awesome.

Have to admit, though, felt just slightly let-down. Kinda missed her.

Especially because this year's regular corner girl hasn't been quite up to par, DEFINITELY not at the gold standard set by Miss Liberty Tax 2008. I was not long disappointed, though...

as, one day, coming home from Target, I saw THIS--

...Whaaahhh??


Tax man? I think? Half-heartedly waving the sign, more like tilting it up and down slightly, no dancing or bee-bopping and definitely NO swinging around poles. I had to get a better look, so I went around the corner, stopped my car, and retrieved my camera from the trunk. And then went around the block for another go-round.

a closer look....

and... he turns around.

Oh, seriously, the POOR GUY. He HATES his job!!! Cruel and unusual punishment, and I'll bet he's an honest tax-payer. He does NOT deserve this. This is NOT liberty.

Needless to say, I never saw him again. I hope he's in a happier place, free of turquoise nylon and humiliation. And I, meanwhile, have learned that the best time to drive past Liberty Tax is after they're closed. :)

sugar, HAH!

I laughed in the face of sugar. And it laughed right back at me.

My friend Natalie has, of late, been giving up things (foods) (vices, if you will) on a monthly basis for the past few months. First she went thirty days without chips, then sugar, then I don't know what the current one is, but it's all pretty impressive.

The sugar one I first heard about when we girls went to a chick flick on Valentine's Eve; I was in the midst of rifling through one of the two individual grab bags of chocolate/Valentine's candy I had been given for movie treats as she explained that she would just be taking her bags home and not eat them, and thinking-- WHAT?! Seriously? Not ONE piece? Man. And then... I wonder if I could even do that?

Okay, so a little background first: I'd say I'm a pretty healthy cat already.

-no real diseases (but plenty of imagined ones-- I have at one time or another been self-diagnosed with elephantitis, peripheral neuropathy, possible leprosy, walking pneumonia, SARS, and the pleurisy);

-in general adore vegetables and abhor fast food;

-am not just sitting on my butt all day, happen to be in excellent cardiovascular condition;

-have beyond-perfect vision (I have pretty much determined that I see at a greater "zoom" than everyone else, perhaps due to a slight superhero genetic),

-dang good hearing (to the annoyance of my students muttering curse words in the far reaches of the room);

-and I have learned how to function as a left-eye-dominant-being in a right-handed body. (Tricky!)

In fact, if it weren't for the diseases/conditions referenced above and the constant back and shoulder stress tension which in turn gives me frequent headaches, I'd say I'm a model of good health and just a little bit bionic.

Despite all that, though, in recent years, my already- (inherently) lackadaisical metabolism has decided to be at COMPLETE odds with my 30's. In fact, they seem to be in a constant fight. No, it's more like my metabolism doesn't like confrontation, so it has decided to sit back in a La-Z-Boy instead and just kick it for a while. Thanks, Metab!

SO-- I took the challenge (given by me, to me) and GAVE UP SUGAR for 30 days!!! Not natural sugar like in fruit, that's just stupid... but any and all desserts, treats, candy, refined sugar, etc. (Sugar-free fudge bars and jello/pudding okay). Didn't think I'd get super-skinny by doing so, but figured it had to do SOMETHING.

I mean, look at all the candy and treats I DIDN'T eat:

Valentine's chocolates from my aunt? into a Ziplock. Girl Scout cookies? Straight to the freezer (where they go every year, anyway). Cadbury Mini-Eggs? Purchased, but not opened (I knew I'd want them SOMEday...)

My willpower and resistance didn't end there. I also had to NOT eat the bevvy of delicious desserts that I baked for various events in the past 30 days.

A-- Key Lime Pie for KJ's Bday;

B -- White Chocolate Buttermilk Lemon Cake with mascarpone and

lemon whipped cream, topped with strawberries and raspberries and

drizzled with a raspberry jam glaze... also for KJ's Bday

C-- chocolate chip cookies for my students (celebration/consolation

cookies for when I gave out semester grades)

D-- Coconut-Pecan Blondies... why? Why NOT

E--S'mores Cupcakes for the class period that paid the highest percentage of lab fees

Didn't eat ANY of those. Not a bite. Wait, I take that back; I took a tiny bite of each, tasted it, and then spit it out. (Great trick, did it more than once this last month.) Oh, and the photo above? It's of the slices/pieces/bits I stuck in the freezer to save for later, so I could REALLY taste them in the future... that's why they look a little worse for the wear. Here were some of them in all their fresh and tasty glory:



And it was HARD. Well, at first, that is-- mainly the first 24 hours were the hardest, I was pretty much going through drug-type withdrawals or the like. Lots of shaking and babbling and screaming sugar-obscenities. After that, it just became a matter of habit and willpower and determination, and since I like to compete with myself, it was a challenge I wasn't going to back down on! But not eating something like this sitting in front of me... I'll admit was just a little bit of torture. I mean come on, LOOK at it! LOOK AT IT!!

And so, thirty days later... I made it!! I did it! Not so hard after all, though I did decide I definitely don't want to be a diabetic. Yay me!

But what did it do for me?



NOTHING.

NADA.

ZILCH.



In terms of my outward physical appearance, that is. Not one pound. My insides? I guess... I mean, sure, I bet my teeth are happy and all, but cutting out sugar didn't seem to make me any healthier or even affect my overall energy level.

NICE.

What it DID do, though, is give me a Kick-A (sorry, the lack of sugar is making me partially swear) WILLPOWER. My 30 days were up as of last night, and did I go to the freezer? Only to display the stashed and saved goodies for the photo shoot. I did take a tiny nibble of the corner of one of the cookies, I'm only human. But that was it. And I'm sure I'll eat a little bit here and there, sometime. But I am NOT going to have a binge-fest as reward...

...Because I found that I really really love fruit, and now that I've kicked the habit (30 days to break one!), and the aftertaste of sugar really kind of grosses me out, and though-- I'm not going to lie, I'd like to go eat three chocolate chip cookies right now-- I would like to end my Lent-ish abstinence, ... unfortunately, since the no-sugar thing didn't do anything, it's time to take drastic measures. So the sugar fast continues... Hand-in-hand with my kick-A willpower, and the gym.

That metabolism of mine is going to get KICKED to the CURB! Along with its precious La-Z-Boy. HAH!

see jane pose

In case you were wondering what the best-- in sooo many ways -- show on TV is right now, wonder no more!

Any of you seen "The Mentalist"? I turned it on initially because Simon Baker, the principal actor, is just delish. Didn't really care about the premise or the plot or the acting, just wanted to see his beautiful Australian sexy self... and was not, repeat not, disappointed.

Baker plays the title character of Patrick Jane, a "mentalist" (whatever that means-- I've seen portions of maybe 3 episodes now and I still don't quite get it) and goes around solving crimes and/or helping out the police/detective force and trying to figure out what happened to his own wife or something (I'm right here, Patrick), all the while looking beautiful and giving just the right hint of a smile even when everything looks grim.

And so far, I haven't really been able to follow along with the storylines, individual or overall. I think there's a premise/plot in there somewhere, as well as maybe some writing-- but mostly, the general script and direction seem to go something like this:

(Jane enters the room, strikes a casual pose leaning against

desk and flashing a smile)

PJ: "Sooo... what's the problem?"

(sidelong glance at the camera... "hey there, you..." sexy eyes)

shuffling of papers, secondary actors running around sharing vital

information as Jane listens attentively with sexy concerned look

PJ: "My extreme mental capabilities sense that something is wrong... "

(turn, pose, profile shot, brow slightly--sexily--furrowed)

PJ: "...but it's going to be okay soon."

(leaning forward intimately, reassuring warm smile, eyes crinkled,

soothing sexy voice)

(AND REPEAT)

And, well... that's basically it. It is so bad, it's GREAT. This week he went temporarily blind-- THAT was a tele-treasure!! The acting really is iffy, it's super-cheese and I truly am pretty positive Simon is directed to "just look pretty" and pose continually, no matter the shot (which is usually up-close on his gorgeous mug), but hey-- I ain't complaining. AND, somehow, this show is rated in the TOP TEN of new shows! (Good job, TV-viewing public -- I now have new hope for the future of America.)

Those directors and producers aren't fools. They know what the people want. Thank you, CBS!

heeheeheeheeheeheehee

*names have been changed

So my beloved T.A. Lauren* was a little sad today, more like stressed. I noticed right away that her usual smile wasn't quite as easy when she came in, so she sat down in her reserved chair next to my desk and we chatted about school woes, college anxieties, etc.

I was listening really well, but I was also quite distracted by the scene behind her:

...because, come on, how do those pants STAY UP??? It drives me crazy to see

them that low, and it HAS to drive those guys crazy to have their pants

half-hanging off of them all the time.

So I said, "Lauren, do you want to be cheered up?" and she said YES--!

So I called out, "OMAR*!"

He turned around. "Yeah?"

"Can you do something for me?"

"Sure, what?" (he's a nice kid)

and I told him to walk over to the open doorway on my right,

leading to a mini courtyard between my room and the next,

parallel classroom building... he did... and then I said,

"I want you to run as fast as you can from here to that wall, and then back"

and he said "but my pants will fall down!"

and I replied, "EXACTLY."

So he did, and they did. I demurely looked away as they were starting

to fall, because even though I'd been viewing his underwear/gym shorts or

whatever for 15 minutes already, a young man deserves his privacy.

And when he got back, it was good times and we were all having a great

laugh but I still told him, quite sternly, to PULL (HIS) PANTS UP.

It was soooo great-- and Lauren* was soooo diverted--

and then we continued the fun by making the other two boys

next to him do the same thing, their pants were too low, too, it was only fair.

pink is the new green?

I'm not sure how wearing pink translates to saving jobs for teachers, but it hopefully does show support for our poor pinkslipped colleagues.

As many of you know, today--Friday the 13th, how appropriate--was the deadline for giving teachers the Pink Slip in California. At my site alone, 25 teachers were given these layoff notices (and now have to wait until May to find out if it's final, or not... how anxiety-ridden is that!)

So the California Teacher's Association (CTA) came up with the "genius" idea of having teachers, students, and supporters wear pink today, to show our protest in the budget cuts being made towards education in California. (Approx. 40% of the state budget goes towards education; approx. 60% of the GENERAL statewide cuts are coming from education-- huh?) I doubt Arnold Schwarzenegger is going to be so scared by the amount of pink he sees today that he's going to just throw money back at education, but I guess we can hope? I think it's futile, but I did wear pink today in honor of my colleagues. It's tough times.

AND, the word got out and a lot of students wore pink today, and that was pretty cool to see!

some of my first period students

Artis wearing it well


lots of kids carried this support for a pinkslipped English teacher

and a fellow art teacher went ALL out... ohhhh, yeaahhhh :)

This group of kids (above), in my third period class ended up looking like the poster for an after-school special or something like that-- soooo stereotypical, picture-perfect high school. When I told them this (while I was giving them photo shoot "look like high schoolers" instruction), they laughed and said "but we're missing the token black kid!" And it's true, they're in a mostly asian demographic, and while this picture itself is pretty PC, we were missing an african-american. I told them no worries, that's what Photoshop is for.

There! (as promised). They're good sports :)




But the best news is... I GET TO KEEP MY JOB! PHEW.

I love my job so so much-- screen printing, five classes, hello?? Love the kids, love the school, love the art/medium, love the location, love almost everything about it (except for grading, but duh who likes that)... it would have broken my heart to have lost it. And there was a scare, I haven't slept well for a couple of months; just found out Tuesday that I was "safe" and I haven't fully realized the relief, yet.

And if wearing pink everyday would help the problem for the other teachers who weren't as fortunate this Friday the 13th, I'd be out shopping this very moment.

Levistrong

I'm no Lance fan, if we're talking about someone who leaves his wife and is pretty arrogant in the book he wrote about himself, etc. etc. 

But I AM a Lance fan when I get to: go with my pro-road-biking friends to the Rose Bowl to watch Lance Armstrong et al ride (ZOOM) by five times, take some stinkin' cool pictures of said zooming, pick up a free "Lance Fan" Lance fan, finally wear the Livestrong bracelet I bought a few years ago because I figured it'd be a collector's item someday, AND request my own mini-sample bag of beans from the pre-race-parade Jelly Belly truck. A pretty great afternoon, in spite of feeling like total kee-rap. (really a true fan, because I braved the California winter elements in the 

midst of a really bad cold) (You're welcome, Lance.)

Oh yeah, and Levi Leipheimer was riding too, in fact he won the

 race (Amgen Tour de California or something like that). Who's Levi?

So here's how it panned out.  Some pretty cool people went out to show their support and fanatacism. 

Oh and by the way, this all took place a couple of weeks ago... oops. I was sick, come on.

moi

nate

KJ

june

Extreme John

eva (and friend)

erica

Desmond

I was very pre-race entertained by the medley of bikers and fans and faux-bikers at the event. There were a lot of bikes there, for sure...

and some REALLY sweet outfits.  The dude on the right, below,  is the best. I wish I could have seen his hair flowing in the draft of the peloton.

We picked a great spot along the side of the road, right in the action, so we could get good photos. Well, at least so I could get good photos-- that's usually my main goal, what, was there a race going on too? Huh.

So here's what happened, though: the racers were doing five laps around the Rose Bowl, and I/we spent the first two laps trying to figure out which one was Lance... left to myself, I figured he had to be in this pack in the second peloton (say it with a french accent, makes you sound cool) of bikers, because it was just so pretty.

john and erica 'in the moment'

THEN we figured out he was wearing the YELLOW jersey-- score!! Check out the sweet shot I got here! If only he was in focus, instead of that yahoo behind him-- oh well, it just makes him look faster. Go Lance! Win win!

An onlooker/fan next to me was pretty jealous of this next shot on the next lap, as were my friends. I bragged quite a bit. Also collected emails to send it out per request, since my shots were so much better. Couldn't wait for the next lap, to get even BETTER ones.

AND THEN... I was running around showing of the above picture, and receiving my due congratulations and well-wishes, when a race official (well, "side-of-the-road guard") says, "no... that's not Lance. He's wearing a yellow helmet!" (all excitedly, he was a real Lance Fan)

Oops. I showed him the shots on my camera, and... sure enough...

Who's Levi, again? I sure hadn't heard of him, which is pretty strange considering I'm such a hard-core roadbiking fan. Luckily his striking persona and chiseled jaw--and fate--drew my viewfinder to him, though, and luckily The Lance liked to keep a close second to Levi, so Lance WAS in those shots above, after all. Never mind not centered.

KJ and John having a good ol' time

FORTUNATELY, though, there were still two laps left-- and I had the sequence down, now, and my camera was on continual shutter release... 

wait for it...

wait for it...

BOOM! best shot EVER*! 

*that I have ever personally taken of Lance Armstrong riding by 

Seriously, CHECK OUT that action! The speed! The face gripped in concentration! The unreal sinew and muscle of the calves! It was pretty exciting, and not just due to the exhilaration of trying to get the best photo possible-- they were going by SO FAST, and packed so tightly...

One more-- final--shot, on the last lap:

Not as good as the one above it, even though he's there alone-- the action is better with more bikers around him, and, well... hate to say it, but he looks a little awkward.  HOWEVER... this photo is SUPER-great because, if you look closely, you'll see... John and Nate and June behind Lance! Directly across the street, Lance is exactly between them-- all a-blur, of course, due to my speed-focus-skills, but definitely there-- and June looks like she's cheering. While John (the biggest fan of all my friends, he's been to Tour de France), is looking the other way. What??? 

We'll let this next photo redeem him:

and this one: This was a posed (and lucky) shot. John cheering, oh-so-happy to be there. (and playing along, as he always does :)

SOOO great! Maybe I AM a fan! Not as much as Allan and Leilani, but a fan in my own right.

CONGRATULATIONS LANCE! 

Oh yeah, and Levi too-- good job winning the race, I guess.

_________________________

p.s. Second-Best Part of the day:

(look closely and you'll see my yellow Livestrong bracelet. And, under it, 

my orange "I (heart) the King" bracelet from Thailand. Figured if 

I was going to wear one, I should wear the other.)

And if you could look even MORE closely, you'd see that my baglet of jelly beans is unopened... and looking into the FUTURE, you'd see that's it's STILL unopened. Not because I'm saving it to for posterity's sake, but because I haven't eaten sugar in over three weeks! With that kind of willpower, I should be a road-bike-racer myself.. watch out Lance! And/or Levi.

kj's happiest moment

FINAL FINAL SHOT: 

MAN that's a lot of bikes.