Ocean of Fear

It was the end of the quarter today, and a lot of students didn't have anything to do while others were frantically rushing to turn in late work. So, being the Teacher of the Year that I am, I offered a little entertainment choice via my projector and screen in the form of either Candy (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory), Halloween (a holiday episode of The Office), or Scary (Shark Week--Ocean of Fear). They chose Scary.

Suckers. :) 

The girl on the right is a sweetheart and has a MAJOR fear of sharks, but she soldiered through and sat up front, even though we were watching "Top Five Eaten Alive" (which was MY choice). Their faces were classic, though, so I had to take a couple of snaps. And I dig the boy behind them (in the top photo) who is soooo unmoved by it all.

Happy Halloween, kids! 

goodbye, my lover

Yep, it's true. I have finally become That Girl. As in, one who instigates a breakup right after an anniversary, and more jerkily, right after being given jewelry.

Then again, it was just a keychain...

But really, it was time. I have had an 8-year love affair with Williams-Sonoma, and though it breaks my heart to leave, I have other things that need attending to and that heart of mine is being pulled in other directions, so I had to make the difficult (yet oh-so-mature) decision to make a clean break and give my notice. For the first time in a decade (save one season working as crew onboard a cruise ship and another teaching at schools in Austria), I WON'T be handing out mulling-spiced-cider to frantic holiday crowds,  getting up at 4:30am on the day after Thanksgiving to do a "Visual rollover", and talking through the glass at the people pounding on the door on Christmas Eve after we've closed to tell them that, guess what, WE'RE CLOSED and sorry, you'll have to come back on the 26th. And yes, I understand that you only want to come in and get one thing, and ran to get here. But no, I'm sorry, the registers are closed and I'm not opening the door. But really, I don't feel sorry for you because you waited UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE, and guess what, the second you walk away I'm going to laugh about you with the other employees. (That last part was just said in my head, of course.)

I really, truly am going to miss it. :( It has been what I've known about Christmas for so long now, my own tradition(s) for my family unit of one (me), and I love my managers and fellow Associates and sometimes even some of the seasonal employees. Hee hee. But no more! Those traditions are of the past. (Until next year when I'm going through withdrawal and I beg for my job back, let's be realistic).

But-- rather than sit around and wallow in my grief at separation Michael-Scott-style, repeatedly pushing the play button on the 15-second iTunes audio clip of James Blunt's classic woeful lament, I instead will pay a little tribute to the good times WS and I have had together. Specifically, well, in the consideration of all the excellent product I've been discount-privy to in the past decade.

So here it is:

MY FAVORITE WILLIAMS-SONOMA PRODUCTS

from A to Z

(actually, I'm not doing one for every letter... I just didn't feel like ordering them categorically or creatively, so it's alphabetically)

(and this list is sooooo not all-inclusive-- I have gobs and gobs of other faves, an entire kitchen -- and guest room closet-- full in fact, but I wanted to pass on the product knowledge of these, in one of my last attempts at educating the amateur culinary world for the better!)

So here we go:

AEROCCINO. It makes "steamed" milk!! With a dense froth that makes my tummy hurt, I consume so much of it at one time. No need to pay big cash at Starbucks! (Just a lot for this little gem :)

APPLE PEELER-CORER-SLICER. If you like to make apple pies, like I do, this thing takes HOURS off your work time (if you're making ten pies, that is. With one pie? Maybe shaves off 35 minutes). It's an old-fashioned tool that works on potatoes as well.. and you can just peel, or just core and slice, or all three. LOVE- IT.

Also in the frame are Must-Haves for me-- a Baker's Pin (distributes weight more evenly than a standard rolling pin-- though I have that, too. And a tapered pastry one as well :), and a Pastry Scraper-- INVALUABLE. Divides dough, also GREAT for scraping off doughy/floury pastry boards.

AQUATRONIC SCALE. I wanted a scale for so long, so I could do Austrian recipes, and then when I finally got it-- oh wow I don't think I go a cooking/baking day without using it. SUPER handy, for so many things. Including calculating postage so you can Click-n-Ship from home :). Oh, and for entertaining TA's at school when you're bored by weighing things like your hand, head, etc. Just to see.

Oh, and the aquatronic part? It even measure-weighs LIQUID weight. I KNOW. It's like Back to the Future has come true.

BALSAMIC VINEGAR. Specifically, this Olivier brand, which is maybe exclusive to the WS? All I know is, I WANT TO DRINK IT. And I practically can, it's very sweet and not extremely vinegar-y, if that makes sense... aged 25 years, you'll want to have Caprese salad for breakfast too. (I recommend :)

COVERED BAKING PANS. I don't bake a lot IN these, per se, because I prefer the sturdier form of the Chicago Metallic brand (which I also own, also bought from WS), but these are SO GREAT for transporting cookies, bars, brownies, cupcakes, etc... I have the brownie pan (9"x9") size, the cake pan (9"x13"), a covered pie dish (10" diameter, I usually just stick my other pie plate inside), AND a jelly-roll sheet. It also comes in a half-sheet size. Again-- SO GREAT.

CREAM WHIPPER. If you've been invited over for crepes or waffles or hot chocolate or really anything that can possibly be topped with whoop at my house, I have probably used this. While I am no stranger to the Reddi-Whip type (it's a constant around here), THIS takes fresh cream, mixed with a little powdered sugar if you like it sweet, and then uses a CO2 cartridge to create whipped delight without an electric mixer (or by hand-- DONE IT. Pain.), and which stays fresh for about two weeks. Just be sure to expend all the remaining CO2 before unscrewing the lid to clean it when it's out of cream, or you will have whoop exploding into the next room. (DONE IT. Twice, even. Messy.)

CUP-A CAKE. This is just for fun. But if you like taking a cupcake to school, as I'm not opposed to, this keeps it suspended and in perfect decorated shape until you put it in your mouth!!

EGG FRY RINGS. I originally bought these to use in lieu of crumpet rings (hard to find) to make homemade crumpets, but since have fallen into a steady ritual of cooking up a breakfast (, lunch, or dinner) sandwich with a multi-grain English muffin and a slice of 2% American cheese, and of course, a fried egg. Yummers.

GRAVITY MILLS.  Hate having to use two hands to grind salt or pepper over your tasty dish simmering on the stove? Me too. These grind automatically when you turn them over. LOVE them! (I also love ground salt, in general... once you go Sea Salt, you can never go back. And ground gives such a nice texture...)

GRILLE PAN. Since I don't have a man to do the grilling for me, I use this baby on the stovetop-- for meat, veggies, whatever... gives grill lines and a low-fat cooking option with great browning/searing... all it's missing is a smoked-wood flavor. I cook almost all my chicken with this. (A little mist of olive oil, fresh ground salt and pepper, butterflied cutlets pounded thin... juicy and delicious!)

"KOBRA" MANDOLINE. This is a recent acquisition, but has already climbed its way rapidly up my shortlist! Made by de Buyer, a high-quality manufacturer of high-end mandolines, this is the affordable option. I had/have a cheap hand-held similar to this that I purchased in Germany, but this can be adjusted to cut a number of sizes including paper-thin, AND is serrated, to cut tomatoes!! WHAAAAT??

MINI-PREP. By Cuisinart. I can't/don't afford a large food processor, and don't really have regular need of one... this little version is fantastic! Use it for chopping/grinding nuts, making breadcrumbs, processing spinach or basil into pesto, pureeing cauliflower, obliterating onions-- you name it! I hear it's great for pureeing BABY FOOD, too, if you're making your own!

NUT CHOPPER. I know I just said to use the Mini-Prep for chopping nuts, but if you want them UNIFORM and not half-powder-ground, THIS is your tool. It's an old-fashioned one that works better than those new-fangled electric options. Grinds fine or coarse.

PIZZA PEEL. Before this, I used manila folders to transport pizzas to and from the oven. No more.

SHREDDERS, GRATERS. ZESTERS, PEELERS... the Microplane brand is TO DIE FOR. Literally, because they're that sharp-- be careful. Use the smaller grater to do tiny parmesan shaves, or to zest citrus. The black tool on the right is an Oxo brand serrated peeler-- makes peeling peaches or tomatoes so much easier! -- and the yellow tool on the left is a CORN STRIPPER... Unnecessary? Maybe. But extremely handy? Yep. And love it? YES.

SPATULAS... I have a bunch, and a bunch to recommend. But two of my favorites are these-- the silicone angled spatula-- can withstand up to 500 degrees of heat, perfect for stirring around in a saute pan-- and the flexible spatula, which comes in stainless steel or nonstick nylon. They are great because they're THIN-- and flexible, as said-- so they actually get UNDER your cookies, or eggs, or whatever.

TOAST TONGS. If this was The Price is Right, and you were supposed to pick the item on this blog that was the lowest price, this would be it. Oh wait, second-lowest price... the Cup-A-Cake beats it. Oops sorry, you just lost The Price is Right. But hopefully gained a pretty great tool for getting your toast/bagel /muffin/Eggo out of the toaster without electrocuting yourself.

VANILLA EXTRACT and VANILLA BEAN PASTE. From the Madagascar Bourbon Islands, this stuff is legit. And, remarkably, actually CHEAPER than real vanilla extract that you buy in the grocery store-- that stuff's about 3-4 dollars an ounce, and this is $19 for 8 ounces.  The paste is great for when you need vanilla beans for a recipe but don't want to pay for them (yikes they're pricey)-- the paste works just like its liquid counterpart, but with the added specks of its beany father. For making creme brulee, or vanilla bean ice cream, etc.

and finally, the

ZEROLL. I like ice cream. I like ice cream that scoops easily. I like to scoop ice cream with the Zeroll, because it has an anti-freezing liquid in the handle that keeps the metal warm enough that the firmly frozen deliciousness is no match for it.

* * * * * * *

So, Chuck, this is it for us. For your 90th birthday in 2005, all the stores were supposed to produce an ingeniously creative birthday card for you, so my manager Linda Ho made me draw your portrait for our store's submission. I protested at first, because really-- my craft is worth more than the barely-above-minimum-wage remuneration I'd receive for 70 minutes of work-- but it turned out to be worth it, because your return "thank you" the stores received was a photograph depicting you looking delightedly at your stacks of well-wishes, and MY little sketch was honorably placed right in front of you. THANK YOU. And by the way, I don't know if you noticed, but my gift to you was that I made you look younger than your 90 years. (By a couple of decades, I'd reckon). You're welcome.

So many fond memories. So many good times. Such a great discount.

So with a little tear in my eye, I say thank you and...

goodbye, my lover... (not Chuck, that's disgusting, I mean Williams-Sonoma)... goodbye, my friend... you have been the one...

you have been the one for me.

breakfast, lunch, dinner and maybe even a midnight snack at Tiffany's

I heart Tiffany's.

I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT SO MUCH

BUT-- before I go any further, I have to acknowledge that I KNOW it's not "Tiffany's". Neither is it "Nordstrom's", "Penney's", or "Gap's".  It's just the singular, in this case "Tiffany and Co." One Tiffany, a lot of company. But that's just so much harder to say! And really, if I can go to McDonald's or Norm's or Wendy's, and they're inviting me into their establishment with open arms and saying "hey-- this is OUR house, come on in! Good to see ya!" then I believe that Mr. Nordstrom and Mr. Tiffany and Mr. Gap all feel the same deep down, and just forgot to add that all important S for some reason. Which I don't need necessarily; I still trust Messieurs Nordstrom and Gap and, especially, Tiffany. And really, I don't want to go to McDonald's or Norm's. (But maybe Wendy's, she makes good Frosties.)

Oh, and just a little tidbit for you-- the use of Tiffany as a given name died out after Medieval times (not the restaurant-show, the time period), and re-appeared in 1961 with the popularity of the movie "Breakfast at Tiffany's". And in present day is a great choice for a bowling name, esp. abbreviated as "Tiff". 

My love affair with Tiffany's began a few years ago when I received my first little Tiffany-blue box from mi Padre for Christmas, containing that ever-popular silver link bracelet with the "Please Return To..." charm (circle, not heart). My father's love affair began that same year, and since then, he's established an intimate customer relationship with "his girl" at Tiffany's, and finds great joy in bestowing a little blue box on me annually, usually containing a small ornament for my tree. I, too, find joy in this tradition. :)

And I'm not usually a very materialistic person-- don't really care about cars or clothes or the like-- and have always poo-pooed such highfalutin shopping venues as Rodeo Road, Fifth Avenue, and really anything that doesn't have a nice Target nearby, but-- well, that all changed for good last summer when we wandered into the NYC Fifth Avenue Tiffany & Co...

I WOULD LIKE TO LIVE THERE.

Six (seven?) floors of sheeeeer heaven, all sparkly and enticing and loving, and the people are so nice to you, even when you're heading straight to the "silver" floor (the most crowded), probably because you're floating around with a huge grin on your face. Everyone is just so happy there. It is my Happy Place.

We couldn't really take photos on the showroom floors, so Stace and I captured our happiness in the ladies' restroom. (Also great.)

SO-- 

How great is it that WILLIAMS-SONOMA, my other guilty pleasure/addiction, rewards its employees with anniversary gifts from Tiffany?

Nothin' quite like that blue bag to get you all giggly.

I have been at the WS for five years... wait, correction. I've actually been there for over 8 years, but I had to "quit" for 3 months when I started working on cruise ships, so they calculate my time with them beginning with my re-hiring... whatever. It has been five years since then, though, so my reward was this little baby!!

The pineapple is part of the WS logo (because the pineapple=hospitality) (although that's a polynesian thing, and WS is supposed to be all Frenchy...), so I got this lovely little silver keychain!

I know that's almost an identical shot, but I can't help myself. I like to look at it.

I'm not going to use it as a keychain-- HELLOO, why would I want it to get all scratched up? So as soon as I can get my hands on a silver chain (strange that I don't have one), I'm going to wear it as a pendant.

My loyal service is documented/engraved on the back of it. Not quite a Purple Heart or a Nobel prize, but loyal service nonetheless. And does me helping others acquire lovely kitchenware give a little nudge towards a better world? I think so.

WS + T&C = TLA

The Hollywood Hills are Alive

... with the sound of me singing the Sound of Music. Well, me and about 18,000 other people. And it was a few weeks ago, but I'm pretty sure the chords are still resonating... in our hearts. Hah.
.
So, there are three things that top my list that is "Los Angeles". They are: the LA Temple (of course), Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles (delish but should probably only be consumed once per quinquennium), and...

THE HOLLYWOOD BOWL!

If you haven't ever been to the Bowl, and you live anywhere in the Southland, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?? Actually, if you're in the Southland and don't attend frequently during the three-month summer season of almost-daily events, there's also something wrong with you. It's FANTASTIC. Outdoor music etc., concerts and showcases of all kinds presented in a natural amphitheater nestled into the Hollywood hills. Well, natural but with benches etc. SOOOO great! My faves are the weekend concerts that are also Firework Spectacular(s), because I love real fireworks--sometimes they even make me cry a little--because I AM AMERICAN, and all Americans should love fireworks. Oh, and the Chinese should too, since they invented them. Only proper.

But while I love classical music and themed concerts, there is something just a little bit EXTRA-special about going to a Sing Along, and a SOUND OF MUSIC sing along, at that. What could be wrong with a two-hour pre-show costume parade, a huuuuge screen projecting the really long movie, and subtitles so everyone can sing along (hence the name, derr)? Ueberhaupt nichts, I tell you.

And I believe that if you're going to a Sound of Music sing-along, you should always dress the part, and eat the part. Part of the fun of the Bowl is bringing fun food, and if you happen to have an authentic dirndl in your hall closet, as I do, you are pretty dang excited to wear it once a year.

It's also super-fun times to ride the Bowl Bus when you're dressed up in your dirndl but all your friends are coming from the Westside, so you're alone looking a little bit like an idiot. I tried to look like maybe I was just some real-life Austrian who happened to be riding the bus in foreign Kalifornia (excuse me-- California) by reading a book in German and muttering key phrases to myself like "Ach! Du bloede Amerikaner, sei nicht so laut", but I don't think anyone bought it. My Ray-Bans weren't really kosher to the part, plus I smiled a lot.

I wanted real bad to have someone take a picture of me sitting alone in the bus, but I didn't get the guts. Hooray for photoshop!

Then when I arrived, I had to wait a bit longer even for my arriving friends, but luckily I was among unknown friends and family and fellow Austrians, like the Von Trapps (all grown up).

Poooor Jennie. All authentic, including the basket (but not including the Roxy backpack), but all alone. Look at the dude behind me staring. Hee hee.

but more than that, look at ME-- what is wrong with my neck?? I am bearing a freakish (and not flattering) resemblance to one Jane Bennett, and I don't mean the pretty Jane from the recent P&P,

I mean this one. If you know Pride & Prej, you know what I'm talking about. Horse neck.

So anyway, I sat around awkwardly for a while. Alone. Alooooone.

and then yay!! My friends showed up! In American clothing, weird.

hot Stacy

..though I'm pretty sure that, in truth, men are downright appreciative of a girl in a dirndl. Pictures certainly don't lie. And I know that Brandon and Ted wouldn't.

KJ and John arrive

The view of the actual 'bowl' from our seats...

Part of the fun of the Sing Along is a little bag we're given containing bits of things to wave along at appropriate times in songs, like tiny flowers for Edelweiss, a scrap of fabric for when Maria makes those famous playclothes-from-drapes (ohhh, that Maria) and these cards for "How do you solve a problem like Maria?" (Seriously. How DO you.)

Nobody actually waves them, it's dark and you wouldn't see it anyway, but it's a nice thought and creates a lot of left-behind trash.

The pre-show and costume parade/contest is MC'd by one Melissa Peterman (pretty funny actress, at least ad-libbing on stage) and... LIESEL!! The actual Liesel from the film! Old now, of course, and tiny compared to the giant Melissa, but Liesel just the same. I'm pretty sure she sneaked off the stage for a while, allegedly to go sing and dance around a nearby gazebo with her secret lover. Ohhhh, that Liesel.

The Von Trapps I'd seen earlier were a hit with the crowd, because Maria turned out to be a man.

One of the costume finalists was a group acting out the marionette scene-- so great! A little five-year old dressed as a goat was bounding back and forth in front of their stage.

Oh and by the way, people? It's LEDERhosen. Not Liederhosen. As in pronounced "layder", not "leeder"... LIEDERhosen means "song pants". Which would be AWESOME, of course, to have song pants, and appropriate to a sing-along, but probably more modest for them to be leather (Leder). In any case, please spread the word. A waterfall starts with just one drop of water, you know.

This was the other great costume finalist group-- the kids in the back are trees, with Von Trapp children hanging out of their branches, and the other kid is the Cap'n driving past the trees in his car (the Baroness is strangely missing). The car even had a license plate bearing "CPN TRAPP" and working lights for the headlamps!

Both of these groups were robbed for first place-- and a Mexican Riviera Princess Cruise-- by a trio of littles dressed as "Tea (with) Jam (and) Bread". Ugh, it's been done, I can't believe they won.

GOOD TIMES WATCHING THE FILM

eating, of course-- and in this case, Authentic Austrian Strudel made by moi. Or by mich.

and whoop, of course... always present. Not Authentic Austrian "Schlag", unfortunately.

Brandon found Waldo... I know. We didn't understand either.

Singing along to the nuns' Latin Allelujah chorus in the beginning of the movie. Not for the fainthearted.

During Edelweiss, everyone pulled out their cell phones and waved them back and forth, lighter-at-a-rock-concert-style. AWE - SOME.

The whole thing-- great. WUNDERBAR. You should come, next year! Start planning your costume now.

* * * * * * * * * *

PROLOG

I'm hard-core, and also Legit. I only bring Authentic Austrian food to Sound of Music sing alongs. For my dinner I made/brought:

-Semmel (bread roll) with salami, one of my fave pick-up-from-the-grocery-store meals while living in Austria

-Kartoffelsalat (potato salad; gold potatoes with oil and vinegar and dill)

-Guerkensalat (cucumber salad; thinly sliced 'English' cucumber with vinegar, sugar and dill)

and to SHARE... Apfelstrudel! Made it myself, yo. And I reeeallly wanted to buy phyllo dough pre-made, but the perfectionist in me wouldn't allow it. And how satisfying is dough from scratch??

After allowing the dough to rest for a a while, you roll it out as large as you can on a floured cheesecloth (or tablecloth)-covered table. Then to get it tissue-thin for proper apple strudel pastry, you have to lift it up and let gravity stretch it out. It's kinda fun. :)

The filling is made up of thinly sliced/cut apples coated with sugar and cinnamon, chopped walnuts, and breadcrumbs browned with sugar. Raisins soaked in rum too, if you're being really authentic, but I don't like raisins or rum so I added some vanilla to the apples. It was actually kinda tasty, and strangely, gave an alcoholish-taste to the apples.

To apply the filling, the breadcrumbs and walnuts are spread over the huuuge dough, and the apples put in a row along one edge. Then you lift the cheesecloth to fold the edge of dough over the apples, then continue to lift the cheesecloth so that the strudel rolls up/into itself. Pretty dang awesome. And easy.

My finished and baked strudel, dusted with Puderzucker (powdered sugar), and a cross-section...

YUM. Except I have to admit, I'd forgotten that Austrian pastries look good, but they're kinda bland. Couldn't bring the usual vanilla sauce that goes with strudel to the Bowl, so I just brought along a baggie of sugar and cinnamon to add, instead. Blaaaand.

The other treat I made to share was LINZER AUGEN cookies. The dough is made of butter, flour, ground almonds, nutmeg, lemon zest, etc... They are a sandwich cookie with jam in the middle, and the top layer has a cutout so you can see the jam. Traditionally, the shape is a fluted edge circle with three holes in the top, but since most of you won't make it to Austria to get the proper cutter, you could cut circles with a star in the center, or two sizes of hearts, etc..

  The jam in the center (seedless raspberry is best!) is heated for a few minutes so it will thicken when cooled, and the tops are dusted with powdered sugar.

Finished product. (on an Austrian Gmunder Keramik plate, I might add). YUM. These take effort, but worth it! If you want the recipe I will totally give it to you. I really should HAVE some to offer, for your effort of reading/skimming/scrolling through this entire post, but.. well, life's not fair. And I'm not Willy Wonka and can't transmit chocolate or other goodies via television or the like. But if you come to the Sing Along next year I'll make you some, for sure.

Alles Liebe, Fraulein Jennie