goodbye, my lover

Yep, it's true. I have finally become That Girl. As in, one who instigates a breakup right after an anniversary, and more jerkily, right after being given jewelry.

Then again, it was just a keychain...

But really, it was time. I have had an 8-year love affair with Williams-Sonoma, and though it breaks my heart to leave, I have other things that need attending to and that heart of mine is being pulled in other directions, so I had to make the difficult (yet oh-so-mature) decision to make a clean break and give my notice. For the first time in a decade (save one season working as crew onboard a cruise ship and another teaching at schools in Austria), I WON'T be handing out mulling-spiced-cider to frantic holiday crowds,  getting up at 4:30am on the day after Thanksgiving to do a "Visual rollover", and talking through the glass at the people pounding on the door on Christmas Eve after we've closed to tell them that, guess what, WE'RE CLOSED and sorry, you'll have to come back on the 26th. And yes, I understand that you only want to come in and get one thing, and ran to get here. But no, I'm sorry, the registers are closed and I'm not opening the door. But really, I don't feel sorry for you because you waited UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE, and guess what, the second you walk away I'm going to laugh about you with the other employees. (That last part was just said in my head, of course.)

I really, truly am going to miss it. :( It has been what I've known about Christmas for so long now, my own tradition(s) for my family unit of one (me), and I love my managers and fellow Associates and sometimes even some of the seasonal employees. Hee hee. But no more! Those traditions are of the past. (Until next year when I'm going through withdrawal and I beg for my job back, let's be realistic).

But-- rather than sit around and wallow in my grief at separation Michael-Scott-style, repeatedly pushing the play button on the 15-second iTunes audio clip of James Blunt's classic woeful lament, I instead will pay a little tribute to the good times WS and I have had together. Specifically, well, in the consideration of all the excellent product I've been discount-privy to in the past decade.

So here it is:

MY FAVORITE WILLIAMS-SONOMA PRODUCTS

from A to Z

(actually, I'm not doing one for every letter... I just didn't feel like ordering them categorically or creatively, so it's alphabetically)

(and this list is sooooo not all-inclusive-- I have gobs and gobs of other faves, an entire kitchen -- and guest room closet-- full in fact, but I wanted to pass on the product knowledge of these, in one of my last attempts at educating the amateur culinary world for the better!)

So here we go:

AEROCCINO. It makes "steamed" milk!! With a dense froth that makes my tummy hurt, I consume so much of it at one time. No need to pay big cash at Starbucks! (Just a lot for this little gem :)

APPLE PEELER-CORER-SLICER. If you like to make apple pies, like I do, this thing takes HOURS off your work time (if you're making ten pies, that is. With one pie? Maybe shaves off 35 minutes). It's an old-fashioned tool that works on potatoes as well.. and you can just peel, or just core and slice, or all three. LOVE- IT.

Also in the frame are Must-Haves for me-- a Baker's Pin (distributes weight more evenly than a standard rolling pin-- though I have that, too. And a tapered pastry one as well :), and a Pastry Scraper-- INVALUABLE. Divides dough, also GREAT for scraping off doughy/floury pastry boards.

AQUATRONIC SCALE. I wanted a scale for so long, so I could do Austrian recipes, and then when I finally got it-- oh wow I don't think I go a cooking/baking day without using it. SUPER handy, for so many things. Including calculating postage so you can Click-n-Ship from home :). Oh, and for entertaining TA's at school when you're bored by weighing things like your hand, head, etc. Just to see.

Oh, and the aquatronic part? It even measure-weighs LIQUID weight. I KNOW. It's like Back to the Future has come true.

BALSAMIC VINEGAR. Specifically, this Olivier brand, which is maybe exclusive to the WS? All I know is, I WANT TO DRINK IT. And I practically can, it's very sweet and not extremely vinegar-y, if that makes sense... aged 25 years, you'll want to have Caprese salad for breakfast too. (I recommend :)

COVERED BAKING PANS. I don't bake a lot IN these, per se, because I prefer the sturdier form of the Chicago Metallic brand (which I also own, also bought from WS), but these are SO GREAT for transporting cookies, bars, brownies, cupcakes, etc... I have the brownie pan (9"x9") size, the cake pan (9"x13"), a covered pie dish (10" diameter, I usually just stick my other pie plate inside), AND a jelly-roll sheet. It also comes in a half-sheet size. Again-- SO GREAT.

CREAM WHIPPER. If you've been invited over for crepes or waffles or hot chocolate or really anything that can possibly be topped with whoop at my house, I have probably used this. While I am no stranger to the Reddi-Whip type (it's a constant around here), THIS takes fresh cream, mixed with a little powdered sugar if you like it sweet, and then uses a CO2 cartridge to create whipped delight without an electric mixer (or by hand-- DONE IT. Pain.), and which stays fresh for about two weeks. Just be sure to expend all the remaining CO2 before unscrewing the lid to clean it when it's out of cream, or you will have whoop exploding into the next room. (DONE IT. Twice, even. Messy.)

CUP-A CAKE. This is just for fun. But if you like taking a cupcake to school, as I'm not opposed to, this keeps it suspended and in perfect decorated shape until you put it in your mouth!!

EGG FRY RINGS. I originally bought these to use in lieu of crumpet rings (hard to find) to make homemade crumpets, but since have fallen into a steady ritual of cooking up a breakfast (, lunch, or dinner) sandwich with a multi-grain English muffin and a slice of 2% American cheese, and of course, a fried egg. Yummers.

GRAVITY MILLS.  Hate having to use two hands to grind salt or pepper over your tasty dish simmering on the stove? Me too. These grind automatically when you turn them over. LOVE them! (I also love ground salt, in general... once you go Sea Salt, you can never go back. And ground gives such a nice texture...)

GRILLE PAN. Since I don't have a man to do the grilling for me, I use this baby on the stovetop-- for meat, veggies, whatever... gives grill lines and a low-fat cooking option with great browning/searing... all it's missing is a smoked-wood flavor. I cook almost all my chicken with this. (A little mist of olive oil, fresh ground salt and pepper, butterflied cutlets pounded thin... juicy and delicious!)

"KOBRA" MANDOLINE. This is a recent acquisition, but has already climbed its way rapidly up my shortlist! Made by de Buyer, a high-quality manufacturer of high-end mandolines, this is the affordable option. I had/have a cheap hand-held similar to this that I purchased in Germany, but this can be adjusted to cut a number of sizes including paper-thin, AND is serrated, to cut tomatoes!! WHAAAAT??

MINI-PREP. By Cuisinart. I can't/don't afford a large food processor, and don't really have regular need of one... this little version is fantastic! Use it for chopping/grinding nuts, making breadcrumbs, processing spinach or basil into pesto, pureeing cauliflower, obliterating onions-- you name it! I hear it's great for pureeing BABY FOOD, too, if you're making your own!

NUT CHOPPER. I know I just said to use the Mini-Prep for chopping nuts, but if you want them UNIFORM and not half-powder-ground, THIS is your tool. It's an old-fashioned one that works better than those new-fangled electric options. Grinds fine or coarse.

PIZZA PEEL. Before this, I used manila folders to transport pizzas to and from the oven. No more.

SHREDDERS, GRATERS. ZESTERS, PEELERS... the Microplane brand is TO DIE FOR. Literally, because they're that sharp-- be careful. Use the smaller grater to do tiny parmesan shaves, or to zest citrus. The black tool on the right is an Oxo brand serrated peeler-- makes peeling peaches or tomatoes so much easier! -- and the yellow tool on the left is a CORN STRIPPER... Unnecessary? Maybe. But extremely handy? Yep. And love it? YES.

SPATULAS... I have a bunch, and a bunch to recommend. But two of my favorites are these-- the silicone angled spatula-- can withstand up to 500 degrees of heat, perfect for stirring around in a saute pan-- and the flexible spatula, which comes in stainless steel or nonstick nylon. They are great because they're THIN-- and flexible, as said-- so they actually get UNDER your cookies, or eggs, or whatever.

TOAST TONGS. If this was The Price is Right, and you were supposed to pick the item on this blog that was the lowest price, this would be it. Oh wait, second-lowest price... the Cup-A-Cake beats it. Oops sorry, you just lost The Price is Right. But hopefully gained a pretty great tool for getting your toast/bagel /muffin/Eggo out of the toaster without electrocuting yourself.

VANILLA EXTRACT and VANILLA BEAN PASTE. From the Madagascar Bourbon Islands, this stuff is legit. And, remarkably, actually CHEAPER than real vanilla extract that you buy in the grocery store-- that stuff's about 3-4 dollars an ounce, and this is $19 for 8 ounces.  The paste is great for when you need vanilla beans for a recipe but don't want to pay for them (yikes they're pricey)-- the paste works just like its liquid counterpart, but with the added specks of its beany father. For making creme brulee, or vanilla bean ice cream, etc.

and finally, the

ZEROLL. I like ice cream. I like ice cream that scoops easily. I like to scoop ice cream with the Zeroll, because it has an anti-freezing liquid in the handle that keeps the metal warm enough that the firmly frozen deliciousness is no match for it.

* * * * * * *

So, Chuck, this is it for us. For your 90th birthday in 2005, all the stores were supposed to produce an ingeniously creative birthday card for you, so my manager Linda Ho made me draw your portrait for our store's submission. I protested at first, because really-- my craft is worth more than the barely-above-minimum-wage remuneration I'd receive for 70 minutes of work-- but it turned out to be worth it, because your return "thank you" the stores received was a photograph depicting you looking delightedly at your stacks of well-wishes, and MY little sketch was honorably placed right in front of you. THANK YOU. And by the way, I don't know if you noticed, but my gift to you was that I made you look younger than your 90 years. (By a couple of decades, I'd reckon). You're welcome.

So many fond memories. So many good times. Such a great discount.

So with a little tear in my eye, I say thank you and...

goodbye, my lover... (not Chuck, that's disgusting, I mean Williams-Sonoma)... goodbye, my friend... you have been the one...

you have been the one for me.