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Lately, I have very little patience for television. It started in India, when I didn't watch it for 2.5 months (except for DVDs of two seasons of Friday Night Lights, of course), -- no, wait -- no, it started with the end of LOST. Which, by the way, was aptly titled The End. But I can't really talk about that, or I'll start to tear up. Just .. so... painful. It's bad enough that I have the final movement from the LOST score (also aptly titled, "Moving On") on my iPod and every time I listen to it, I get a little teary thinking about Jack, and... that he DIED, and...
Anyway. I'm apathetic about TV because 1) there's not much I really care to watch now, and 2) I have little patience for it in general. Not much catches my attention without making me antsy.
But, you'd think that all would have changed with the advent of SKATING WITH THE STARS. I had heard about it in passing, in a radio ad (also little patience for radio, except KUSC and KOST... though I think the KOST only has 85 songs on its Christmas playlist, because I've heard each of them 35 times already in the past week), but thought... a skating reality show--?? Naaah. That's like a dream, come TRUE.
Well.
Late Monday night, after I had gone running and then finished the second book in The Hunger Games trilogy (ADDICTED!), I was a little antsy because the book ended on a cliffhanger so I needed some new action/entertainment to keep me occupied, so--I flipped on the TV. And what came up but... the last fifteen minutes of Skating with the Stars! Just like Santa isn't (sorry kids), this show is REAL!
And, it turns out... just as annoying as every other reality show. I ended up only being able to watch it for about five minutes, because I can't stand false fame and canned judges'-table comments. I was unfortunate enough to watch this woman's training session and performance, because the whole time I didn't get why she was a 'star' (I've since found out, but don't care enough to give it due, here)
and then be annoyed because every judges' comment was about her amazing, or "sick" (as Johnny Weir put it) body , which is more how I feel about it-- sure it looked great for skating, but on its own appeared grotesquely anorexic to me with her head too big for her lower 7/8ths. I'm not saying this to put her down, but in being disturbed by the sick praise of it.
Oh okay and the other reason I decided I didn't like the show is because I am INSANELY jealous of those people who get to train intensely with real skating stars for partners, which partners hold them safely in death-spins and make the impossible, possible... I have GOT to acquire some fake-fame of my own, FAST, so I can be on the next season of this show!! Not that it's going to last beyond a season, I don't think, but just in case... PLUS they get to wear cool plush robes with their skateguards when saying goodbye for the night. Man I'm jealous.
After Reality Heaven was over, came the news. Yeah, I really have no patience for that, either. Monday's Headline News was: it was cold outside. It was journalistic genius. I listed to a reporter in the field interrogate a woman about her thoughts on the weather, and what she planned to do to stay warm ("Um.. it was cold today? ... I think I'll stay inside where it's warm, and then wear a coat when I go outside...?") for about two minutes. That was enough.
But then... I remembered that I had last week's episode of Community still to watch, recorded-- and then, I remembered why my cable bill is all worth it. Blanket forts and conspiracy theories (and Joel McHale, who is... HHHHHOT!!!), this show did not-- and does not ever-- disappoint.
And THEN... after Community was over and I flipped my TV input source back to cable, what did Destiny have waiting for me but The Colbert Report... WITH Martha Stewart. It was a Pre-Thanksgiving Miracle! Especially because he was showing her his OWN Thanksgiving hors d'oeuvres, one in the form of white bread spread with mayonnaise and sprinkled with powdered Kool-Aid. He is a GENIUS.
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